After a long hiatus, during
which I’ve earned my Master’s degree in Relationship Therapy and started my
private practice, I am re-connecting with my Qadishtu path. I’m trying
to bridge my worlds and figure out how to maintain my spiritual integrity of
being called to be a sacred sexuality priestess while also adhering to the
ethical boundaries of my new profession. The Goddess sent me a partial answer
through her chosen priestess-to-be, Wes. Yes, that is a man’s name, attached to
the feminine form of the word for Her sacred vessel. Wes approached me online
and asked if he could tell me about a “pagan fantasy” he’d been having, which
he could share with no one else he knew. He wanted to do this via online chat,
not phone or via Skype or in person, and so I decided that being a Sacred
Witness through text only wouldn’t be violating any ethical codes.
We scheduled a time to talk
and he told me that he was incredibly turned on by the double taboo of being a
Jewish male who feels drawn to worship the “Pagan” Goddess Astarte, and to do
so as a cross-dressed priestess. I recalled that many times in ancient
Goddess-worshipping cultures, male priests would often cross-dress and
sometimes even went so far as to modify their bodies through castration in
order to worship the Goddess in a more female-identified way.
So, I led him on a journey
via text, one which would take him to the Temple steps for his initiation. This
is that journey. His journey is not yet complete, and I plan to write another
piece after our next session, in which he shares what happened next in his
vision…
~~~~~~~
Inara De
Luna
After receiving training,
one of the first steps to becoming a priestess of the Goddess was to dress in
your finery, take an offering bowl, and sit on the steps of the Temple, to
await your first client - a man who has chosen to take on the role of the
initiating Godform...
Wes
Can you tell me what I'd
look like, please?
Inara De Luna
The priestesses come to you
in your room and lead you to the bath...where they remove all your male
clothing and help you down into the bathing pool...
Inara De Luna
One of them sits on the side
of the pool and starts lathering your hair with suds, while another grabs a
sponge and starts scrubbing your body.
Wes
oh my, yes
Inara De Luna
The priestess scrubbing
your body starts chanting about how this ritual is transforming your body,
bringing your inner feminine to the surface and enhancing your feminine
qualities while your masculine aspects subside within for this time period...
You can actually feel your cock shrinking and drawing up against
your body and your breasts are becoming more sensitive where the priestess is
gently swirling the cloth around your chest.
Inara De Luna
You have chosen to turn
away from the punishing masculine god of your youth, and instead you have given
your vow to embrace the more loving Goddess of the people who pre-date your
people...part of that vow includes this ritual to open your body for the use of
the Goddess.
The priestess standing before you now catches your eye and asks
you to repeat your vow...
Wes
tell me what to say, Lady
Inara
Inara De Luna
You must find those words
within for them to be accepted by the Goddess...this vow must be your genuine
desire to serve....
Wes
Without hesitation, I turn
my back to Yahweh. I ask to be accepted into the Temple of Astarte. In humble
sacrifice, I offer my faith, my masculinity, and my sexuality as an offering in
complete surrender to Astarte
Inara De Luna
The Goddess speaks through
the mouth of Her priestess: “Well-spoken, My Priestess in training...start
thinking of what new name you will adopt as a mark of your service to me...but
you needn't come up with that now, your renaming will be a separate ceremony.”
Inara De Luna
Now the attendant
priestesses help you step up out of the pool, and you revel in the feel of the
warm drops of water traveling down your body as the priestesses gently start
drying you off.
Wes
oh yes
Inara De Luna
One of them turns to the
bathing altar and removes a jar of sweet-smelling lotion, and both dip their
fingers in and start rubbing it into your skin all over your naked body.
Wes
oh my, yes
Inara De Luna
Your muscles are relaxed and
the scent of the jasmine wafting into your nostrils relaxes you further and you
feel yourself dropping into a light trance.
Wes
much more passive, pliant,
and malleable
Inara De Luna
One of the women starts
working on your hair, brushing it out...you've let it go long over these last
months of training, in preparation for this day.
She weaves some flowers and jewels in a crown around your head,
then the other attendant instructs you to close your eyes so she can start
applying some make-up.
Inara De Luna
Now that your hair and
make-up are done, the priestesses start draping you in your ritual garb...first
a special undergarment is wrapped around your genitals, pressing your cock and
balls up under your perineum, but leaving your gluteus and anus unbound.
Then a light shift is drawn over your head, it is light and
diaphanous and flows beautifully around your body
Wes
beautiful
Inara De Luna
Next is a heavier gown,
loaded with sparkling jewels and gold threads...
This gown is belted, which shows off your more feminine figure.
Wes
lovely
Inara De Luna
Your feet are shod with
sandals that have straps that criss-cross up your calves
You already have a crown of flowers and jewels in your hair, but
the priestess adds a coronet upon your brow.
Wes
oh my, yes
Inara De Luna
You are bedecked in
flowers, jewels, sensual fabrics, ready to present yourself.
Wes
indeed
Inara De Luna
Gaze upon yourself in the
mirror for a moment, soak in this image...
Wes
It's gorgeous
Inara De Luna
How do you feel?
Wes
like my true self
Inara De Luna
When you're ready, turn to
your attendants and let them know.
Wes
I slowly turn, my eyes
lowered in submission, eyelashes fluttering
Inara De Luna
You are ready to submit to
the Goddess' will? You offer your body in Perfect Love and Perfect Trust?
Wes
All that I am belongs to
Her. I offer my body in Perfect Love and Perfect Trust
Inara De Luna
“Very well, follow us...”
The attendants then lead you from the bathing area into the main
area of the Temple...as you emerge from the silent baths, you realize the
Temple is full of heat and sound and energy...it's full of other priests and
priestesses...
And they all turn to watch as you process through the
Temple...they still their hands and voices and respectfully attend to you,
acknowledging this important step in your journey.
Wes
I smile softly and
submissively
Inara De Luna
Now your attendants each
take one of your hands and with their other hand, they each grab hold of a
handle of the main doors...as they pull in unison, the large doors swing inward
and the bright sunshine of a beautiful day surrounds you in warmth and
light...you are standing in a halo, as if the Goddess herself has put a
spotlight on you.
Inara De Luna
As your eyes adjust to the
brightness, your sister priestesses guide you gently out of the Temple and
instruct you to find a seat on the Temple steps below.
Wes
I sit on the steps as
gracefully as possible
Inara De
Luna
They help you to arrange
your skirts gracefully around you and they place your offering bowl in your
clasped hands in your lap.
Wes
oh yes
Inara De
Luna
This is the start of your
vigil. You will sit here awaiting the representative of the God, who will
initiate you into the Sexual Mysteries of the Goddess. You may not speak until
a man has approached you and put an offering in your bowl. Then you will go
with him gladly back into the Temple, in the room that has been prepared for
you, and you and he will enact the most ancient of rites together.
Wes
Yes Lady Inara
Inara De
Luna
This part of your journey
is yours and yours alone... I will sign off now and I encourage you to stay in
this trance state and follow what happens from here. Then journal about the
experience and send that to me. We will then schedule another hour to talk
about it and how this has changed you.
~~~~~~~
Wes has embarked on a
mission to dedicate himself as a priestess to the Goddess Astarte, Queen of
Heaven. Part of this process is a transformation in his sexuality, in which he
has chosen to embrace all forms of love and intimacy so long as they are in
service to the Goddess. He will serve as Priestess, in feminine ritual regalia
and expressing his inner feminine on the outside.
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