More info about this blog

These stories are real, though some details may be fictionalized, to protect confidentiality and identities, but these are actual accounts of Qadishtu moments. Stories can be told from either the point of view of the priest or priestess or from the perspective of the client/seeker/supplicant. The point is - what do we actually DO? This blog seeks to help answer that through example. What we do is incredibly varied, depending on our individual experience, training, gifts, and inclinations, and that's why this is a group endeavor. We all have gems to contribute to the larger understanding of what it means to be Qadishtu and the significant need for this role in our society today.

Please be sure to see our Calendar of Sacred Sexuality & Qadishtu Events at the very bottom of this page!


Monday, January 14, 2013

Transformation


After a long hiatus, during which I’ve earned my Master’s degree in Relationship Therapy and started my private practice, I am re-connecting with my Qadishtu path. I’m trying to bridge my worlds and figure out how to maintain my spiritual integrity of being called to be a sacred sexuality priestess while also adhering to the ethical boundaries of my new profession. The Goddess sent me a partial answer through her chosen priestess-to-be, Wes. Yes, that is a man’s name, attached to the feminine form of the word for Her sacred vessel. Wes approached me online and asked if he could tell me about a “pagan fantasy” he’d been having, which he could share with no one else he knew. He wanted to do this via online chat, not phone or via Skype or in person, and so I decided that being a Sacred Witness through text only wouldn’t be violating any ethical codes.

We scheduled a time to talk and he told me that he was incredibly turned on by the double taboo of being a Jewish male who feels drawn to worship the “Pagan” Goddess Astarte, and to do so as a cross-dressed priestess. I recalled that many times in ancient Goddess-worshipping cultures, male priests would often cross-dress and sometimes even went so far as to modify their bodies through castration in order to worship the Goddess in a more female-identified way.

So, I led him on a journey via text, one which would take him to the Temple steps for his initiation. This is that journey. His journey is not yet complete, and I plan to write another piece after our next session, in which he shares what happened next in his vision…

~~~~~~~


Inara De Luna
After receiving training, one of the first steps to becoming a priestess of the Goddess was to dress in your finery, take an offering bowl, and sit on the steps of the Temple, to await your first client - a man who has chosen to take on the role of the initiating Godform...

Wes
Can you tell me what I'd look like, please?

Inara De Luna
The priestesses come to you in your room and lead you to the bath...where they remove all your male clothing and help you down into the bathing pool...

Inara De Luna
One of them sits on the side of the pool and starts lathering your hair with suds, while another grabs a sponge and starts scrubbing your body.

Wes
oh my, yes

Inara De Luna
The priestess scrubbing your body starts chanting about how this ritual is transforming your body, bringing your inner feminine to the surface and enhancing your feminine qualities while your masculine aspects subside within for this time period...
You can actually feel your cock shrinking and drawing up against your body and your breasts are becoming more sensitive where the priestess is gently swirling the cloth around your chest.

Inara De Luna
You have chosen to turn away from the punishing masculine god of your youth, and instead you have given your vow to embrace the more loving Goddess of the people who pre-date your people...part of that vow includes this ritual to open your body for the use of the Goddess.
The priestess standing before you now catches your eye and asks you to repeat your vow...

Wes
tell me what to say, Lady Inara

Inara De Luna
You must find those words within for them to be accepted by the Goddess...this vow must be your genuine desire to serve....

Wes
Without hesitation, I turn my back to Yahweh. I ask to be accepted into the Temple of Astarte. In humble sacrifice, I offer my faith, my masculinity, and my sexuality as an offering in complete surrender to Astarte

Inara De Luna
The Goddess speaks through the mouth of Her priestess: “Well-spoken, My Priestess in training...start thinking of what new name you will adopt as a mark of your service to me...but you needn't come up with that now, your renaming will be a separate ceremony.”

Inara De Luna
Now the attendant priestesses help you step up out of the pool, and you revel in the feel of the warm drops of water traveling down your body as the priestesses gently start drying you off.

Wes
oh yes

Inara De Luna
One of them turns to the bathing altar and removes a jar of sweet-smelling lotion, and both dip their fingers in and start rubbing it into your skin all over your naked body.

Wes
oh my, yes

Inara De Luna
Your muscles are relaxed and the scent of the jasmine wafting into your nostrils relaxes you further and you feel yourself dropping into a light trance.

Wes
much more passive, pliant, and malleable

Inara De Luna
One of the women starts working on your hair, brushing it out...you've let it go long over these last months of training, in preparation for this day.
She weaves some flowers and jewels in a crown around your head, then the other attendant instructs you to close your eyes so she can start applying some make-up.

Inara De Luna
Now that your hair and make-up are done, the priestesses start draping you in your ritual garb...first a special undergarment is wrapped around your genitals, pressing your cock and balls up under your perineum, but leaving your gluteus and anus unbound.
Then a light shift is drawn over your head, it is light and diaphanous and flows beautifully around your body

Wes
beautiful

Inara De Luna
Next is a heavier gown, loaded with sparkling jewels and gold threads...
This gown is belted, which shows off your more feminine figure.

Wes
lovely

Inara De Luna
Your feet are shod with sandals that have straps that criss-cross up your calves
You already have a crown of flowers and jewels in your hair, but the priestess adds a coronet upon your brow.

Wes
oh my, yes

Inara De Luna
You are bedecked in flowers, jewels, sensual fabrics, ready to present yourself.

Wes
indeed

Inara De Luna
Gaze upon yourself in the mirror for a moment, soak in this image...

Wes
It's gorgeous

Inara De Luna
How do you feel?

Wes
like my true self

Inara De Luna
When you're ready, turn to your attendants and let them know.

Wes
I slowly turn, my eyes lowered in submission, eyelashes fluttering

Inara De Luna
You are ready to submit to the Goddess' will? You offer your body in Perfect Love and Perfect Trust?

Wes
All that I am belongs to Her. I offer my body in Perfect Love and Perfect Trust

Inara De Luna
“Very well, follow us...”
The attendants then lead you from the bathing area into the main area of the Temple...as you emerge from the silent baths, you realize the Temple is full of heat and sound and energy...it's full of other priests and priestesses...
And they all turn to watch as you process through the Temple...they still their hands and voices and respectfully attend to you, acknowledging this important step in your journey.

Wes
I smile softly and submissively

Inara De Luna
Now your attendants each take one of your hands and with their other hand, they each grab hold of a handle of the main doors...as they pull in unison, the large doors swing inward and the bright sunshine of a beautiful day surrounds you in warmth and light...you are standing in a halo, as if the Goddess herself has put a spotlight on you.

Inara De Luna
As your eyes adjust to the brightness, your sister priestesses guide you gently out of the Temple and instruct you to find a seat on the Temple steps below.

Wes
I sit on the steps as gracefully as possible

Inara De Luna
They help you to arrange your skirts gracefully around you and they place your offering bowl in your clasped hands in your lap.

Wes
oh yes

Inara De Luna
This is the start of your vigil. You will sit here awaiting the representative of the God, who will initiate you into the Sexual Mysteries of the Goddess. You may not speak until a man has approached you and put an offering in your bowl. Then you will go with him gladly back into the Temple, in the room that has been prepared for you, and you and he will enact the most ancient of rites together.

Wes
Yes Lady Inara

Inara De Luna
This part of your journey is yours and yours alone... I will sign off now and I encourage you to stay in this trance state and follow what happens from here. Then journal about the experience and send that to me. We will then schedule another hour to talk about it and how this has changed you.

~~~~~~~

Wes has embarked on a mission to dedicate himself as a priestess to the Goddess Astarte, Queen of Heaven. Part of this process is a transformation in his sexuality, in which he has chosen to embrace all forms of love and intimacy so long as they are in service to the Goddess. He will serve as Priestess, in feminine ritual regalia and expressing his inner feminine on the outside.

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