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These stories are real, though some details may be fictionalized, to protect confidentiality and identities, but these are actual accounts of Qadishtu moments. Stories can be told from either the point of view of the priest or priestess or from the perspective of the client/seeker/supplicant. The point is - what do we actually DO? This blog seeks to help answer that through example. What we do is incredibly varied, depending on our individual experience, training, gifts, and inclinations, and that's why this is a group endeavor. We all have gems to contribute to the larger understanding of what it means to be Qadishtu and the significant need for this role in our society today.

Please be sure to see our Calendar of Sacred Sexuality & Qadishtu Events at the very bottom of this page!

Thursday, April 9, 2009

All Things in Time

About a year ago, a man named "Jim" entered my life through our local Poly support group. I began to spend some time with Jim on a social basis and nearly from the beginning sensed that he might be someone who would benefit from sacred touch, healing touch.

By all outer appearances, Jim seems to have it all. He's in a glamourus career, is tall and handsome, has a beautiful wife who is very accepting of the poly lifestyle and encouraging of his growth, 2 kids, living in the suburbs and the list goes on and on. However, it didn't take very long for me to discover how very lonely Jim is. He struggles with meeting people and forming intimate relationships. His self-confidence is low and I sense that he doesn't feel worthy of love and attention.

At the time, it did not seem appropriate to approach Jim with the suggestion of a sacred touch session. It was what my gut was telling me, but the timing was not right. I can remember telling one of my loves that it was something I was feeling compelled to do with Jim, but that I didn't believe he would be open to it. He is a tough nut to crack and has his walls very high and solid around him.

As my friendship with Jim has grown over the last year, I have learned more about his upbringing, gaining insights into what has contributed to the walls, to the level of self-doubt. I found that I was serving him best by being a shoulder to lean on and providing ears to listen.

Last weekend, Jim took another step and joined us at a local kink party. It was his first one and he was walking around taking it all in. Absorbing the energy. Observing. After a few hours he came up to me and expressed an interst in participating in the evening. It caught me a little off-guard and quite honestly, due to the nature of how our relationship has developed, felt a little awkward as well. However, a voice was telling me that it was time.

I took my time getting him prepared for the scene. He removed his clothing to the level he was comfortable and I leaned him up on a cross, loosely tying him there with rope. I placed a blindfold on him and then paused. Not sure what step to take next. If he had been anyone else, I wouldn't have been as confused. But we have not had an intimate relationship, and in fact, I have specifically avoided touch with him, knowing that he is not typically receptive to it.

I glanced around and saw two women who both know Jim and who I trust. I called them up and set them loose. The showered him with affection. Small bites, kisses up and down his body. Hands stroking him, nails lightly grazing him. Ice melting down his skin followed by the warm touch of lips and tongue. I participated from the edge. I kept contact so as not to lose the connection, but I wanted him to revel in the attentions of people who could freely express their delight in him.

Through this, I also found myself relaxing. Finding my goddess center. My initial awkwardness and uncertainty dissolved and when my two lovely assistants walked off the stage, I was able to take over. I took my time gently stroking his chest, his arms, his legs. I placed my leg between his to gain closer contact to his body and pressed myself against him. I stroked his face, surrounding us with goddess energy. I wanted to take him down from the intensity of many hands on him to the focused, soft touch of just mine.

I could hear his breathing pattern change. Evening out and becoming more measured, peaceful, at ease.

At the end of the scene, I removed his blindfold and looked him in the eye. He embraced me, stroked my hair and said "that is exactly what I needed." He has since asked to have a full sacred touch session which I am looking forward to doing.

It has taken a full year to get to where my gut originally told me I needed to be. The goddess has her own way and her own time table. Namaste.


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