Sensual Spaces

dawn and I found BDSM before we found this style of sacred sexuality. Things come full circle as an upcoming BDSM Event is going to have an area dedicated to Sensual Space. Here is the class we will be doing.

Sensual Spaces

Dan and dawn, a lifestyle couple of many years and founders of the Sacred Sexuality group 'Path Of The Qadishti', will lead a discussion on the concept of sensual spaces and sacred sexuality. They will touch on the background of sacred sexuality, but the primary focus will be the concept of Sensual Spaces and a discussion of the new (event) Sensual Space, a one of a kind dungeon that can be found here at (event) on Saturday night. Learn techniques and tips that can be used to express intimacy in ways beyond what most of us consider "standard". You can even use these techniques in (event)'s new Sensual Space dungeon! Find and release that inner passion!

10 year mark

Yesterday was the 10th year mark of the first time my wife, Dawn, and I did anything "physical" together.

We started off by avoiding intercourse as part of our relationship, and that went on for about 10 months. This allowed us to not only explore a variety of other sexual connections, but to understand the depth of sacredness of eros.

Thus was our first step on the Qadishti path...

Warmly, Dan

Count down to an event

In just over two weeks, a gathering of Qadishti will take place at a large event in Columbus, OH.

Although we have done this before, having a space where dozens of people can get there first taste of sacred sexuality - and for some, the first time that sexuality is approached as more than 'put tab a in slot b' - can be a daunting idea. What doors will we open, what sights will be revealed? Will others, like myself, find that "homecoming" I felt when first introduced to this Qadishti path?

Warmly, Dan (Columbus)

Nature Qadishti

Last night I was driving home from a friend's house and my breath was taken away by the beauty of the moon. It was still low in the sky, appeared larger than life and incredibly close to earth. It had a golden hue to it and was stunning to behold.

As I neared home and the moon was directly in front of me, I became overwhelmed with a desire to give thanks, to worship, to become one with her. Suddenly I knew exactly what I was feeling compelled to do. After I arrived home, I changed into a pair of silky PJ's, collected a blanket, a couple of toys and headed to our back yard. I found a place at the root of a large tree where I had a direct view of the moon and spread my blanket on the ground.

I laid down and closed my eyes, breathing deeply, feeling the hardness of the ground beneath me. There was a root from the tree at my back. I positioned myself so that my yoni was facing the moon. I began to self pleasure, using the toys that I had brought with me. One inside of me and one massaging the outside of my vulva. I envisioned the toy inside of me as the root of the tree and the one on the outside as the rays from the moon. Making love to nature. My hips rose and fell almost with the pull of the moon tides. Waves of sensation building within my yoni. The shakti energy burning within me. I noticed that both of my toys were getting warm, almost hot to the touch. At one point I was compelled to raise my shirt and expose my breasts to the night air.

As I neared orgasm I breathed deeply to spread the energy through me, up my spine, feeding the tree root beneath me. The waves of orgasm spread through me and I focused it on the moon, sending it out to the universe for the gods and goddesses to do with as they wished, asking that it was used for good and healing purposes. If it was not needed anywhere, I requested that it be used as an offering of thanks. I raised my hand towards the moon as her servant and was filled with a sense of gratitude, peace and love.

Namaste

Assuming Permission - Enforcing Boundaries

"YOU do not have permission!"

Inara de Luna

August 13, 2008

Sometimes being Qadishtu isn’t all happy and light. At times, we are presented with an opportunity to demonstrate what it means to be individuals with boundaries and self-respect, and sometimes those opportunities can be difficult or uncomfortable.

I am known within my small, local community as both Qadishtu, and also as a BDSM sub. My partner and I have even given demonstrations and allowed people to try their hand at things like flogging, with me a willing demo sub. Unfortunately, these things seem to convey to people that I have no boundaries, when it comes to sex or BDSM. This is simply not true. However, several times I have had to step up and say, “No!” very clearly and unequivocally when someone has overstepped a bound.

One time, at a “decadence party”, where everyone was encouraged to dress decadently and bring decadent desserts and drinks, a friend with whom I often play, asked if he could paint me. I lifted my skirt and told him he could “paint my ass red”. Tickled, he took a little swat, and then proceeded to get his paints ready. While I was leaned against the sink with my skirt up around my waist, someone else stepped up and started to bring his flogger toward me. I straightened, pulled down my skirt, and whirled on him, saying “YOU do not have permission!” He apologized and walked away. Later, I had several women come up to me and thank me for being so bold. This man had apparently been accosting others, who did not feel so comfortable saying “no”, even though they didn’t want the attention.

To me, this was an example of being a Sacred Sexuality Priestess – I expressed and maintained my own boundaries, based on a high level of self-respect, while also demonstrating for others how they can do the same, and simultaneously protecting those others (as the man in question soon left the party altogether, thus bothering no one further). Additionally, I brought the issue to the attention of all in attendance, that it is NOT okay to assume permission, no matter who the person is who is the recipient of your intentions.

Qadishtu Ritual - Embracing Life & Death

Embracing Life & Death

A ritual of rehumanization

8/15/06

Inara de Luna

Temple of the Red Lotus

He entered the Temple and was welcomed by a silent, beautiful and graceful priestess who directed him to deposit his personal belongings in a niche set aside for that purpose. She helped him undress and wrapped a robe around his shoulders. After sitting him on a couch, she then knelt before him and lovingly washed his feet with warm, scented water. He relaxed under her ministrations and allowed his mental processes to shift to a more meditative state. He inhaled the incense wafting through the room and felt himself begin to let go of the tension that had become a constant part of his life for the last week or so.

The priestess dried his feet with a soft towel and then held out her hand to help him stand. She indicated he should follow her, and she led him up the stairs to the altar room. She left him kneeling before the altar, with instructions to make his offering to the Goddess and to meditate on why he was here.

Unwrapping the bundle that he’d brought with him, he picked up and gently held the two specialty tea balls he had bought especially for this occasion. Cupping them in his hand, he raised them in front of his face and proffered them to the statue of Aphrodite, praying that she help him heal and thanking her for the forces of Eros and Love in his life. He placed the tea balls in the offering dish at Aphrodite’s feet and bowed his head in silent contemplation.

He wasn’t sure how long he would have to wait for the Goddess to appear in the form of the Priestess, and he wasn’t sure what he was expected to do. He knew that she was going to perform a re-humanization ritual of some sort with him, to cleanse him of the experience of the hunt he’d just returned from, but he had no idea what form this ritual would take. As he sat before the altar, he struggled to achieve a state of acceptance and wrestled with his feelings of impatience. He was unused to inactivity and uncertainty. In the field, even though he never knew what sorts of animals he would encounter, he always knew what was expected and he knew how to handle himself. There was always an element of danger and risk, but he maintained a large measure of control. Here he felt he had very little and had to trust in the process.

Finally, there was a movement behind the curtain that led to the inner sanctum. Someone was emerging, someone clothed all in black robes, completely concealing all features and body type. She entered the altar room and stood before him, with bowed head and slightly outstretched arms. As the figure inhaled deeply, her head and arms both raised and he could feel the Goddess descending into the body of her Priestess. And then she spoke:

“I am the Dark Face of the Goddess. I am She who rules over Death and Transformation.”

He bowed his head in supplication and acknowledgment. She continued:

“You have just emerged from your own place of Darkness. Will you offer me your story?”

He looked up at her and nodded. “Yes, Lady, I will.”

She nodded and brought her hands together in front of her body, palms up forming a cup, as if She would physically hold the story he shared. He began:

“I don’t normally hunt or have any desire to hunt, but my brother asked me if I would join him on this adventure with our father. It seemed like a great opportunity for a bonding experience with my brother and father and so I agreed. It wasn’t until later that I found out just what kind of hunt this would be……

As he finished his story, She closed her hands and bowed her head. Then she brought the palms of her hands to her chest and pressed them into her heart, as if absorbing the story into her being. “Thank you for sharing your story. I will cherish it.” She was silent for another couple moments and then began speaking again.

“Death is a natural part of life. Destruction is a necessary step on the cycle. Some people feel tainted by death. But death is sacred. As sacred as life. The balance must be maintained.

“By seeing death, you stand witness to that divine transformation. By inflicting death, you become my sacred instrument. You wear my face and perform one of my sacred duties.

“You have been transformed. I honor you as you must honor yourself for this sacred role you have played.

“But now, life calls to you once again. And you must value that life and embrace it with all the vigor and enthusiasm it demands.

“As the wheel turns, the cycle progresses, and I become, once again, the Maiden.” She removed her black garments and revealed the lithe body of a young woman. “Through me, you are healed and renewed.” She kneeled before him and spread her legs, framing her yoni with her hands.

“Come, embrace me! And partake of the joyous gifts of life and love that I offer you!”

She then led him to the sacred bower and lovingly sponge-bathed his entire body with warm rose-scented water. Once cleansed, she covered his body with warm kisses, her lips soft and inviting on his sensitive flesh. His lingam stirred and she took him in her mouth until he was fully erect. Then she took his hand and helped him to sit up, while she laid back and arranged her legs to either side of him. “Partake,” she whispered with a smile. He lowered his head to her yoni and began gently licking her lower lips, lapping at her moisture. He worshipped her until she cried out in bliss, then he raised himself up and entered her with a long thrust.

Enveloped by her body, he felt himself energized. His soul merged with his mind and his body, and as a more integrated being than he was when he entered the Temple, he repeatedly joined his flesh with hers. As their bodies rocked together, their energy fields merged and became one, and they became a perfectly balanced, unified whole.

He continued thrusting, while she lifted her hips to meet his thrusts. In his mind’s eye, visions of life, death and rebirth played out, over and over, in rapid sucession. He lowered his head to catch her mouth with his own, and let their tongues mimic the dance their lower bodies were enacting. The energy built and swirled around them until finally, he felt her begin to pulse around him. Her inner flesh spasmed and milked him until he couldn’t contain it any longer, and with a shout, he orgasmed. The boundaries of their skin ceased to exist for that moment; he couldn’t tell where he ended and she began; and his vision was filled with stars. All thought stopped and even physical sensation ceased for a terrifying moment. Had he just died? But then, the sound of her satisfied moans and slowing breathing filled his ears, he could feel his lingam still spasming, and her hands felt like silk on his back. The scent of their pleasure wafted up to his nose in a wave and he knew, without a doubt, that while a piece of him had died, it had been a transformation, and he was yet very much alive.

As the orgasm subsided, and he floated down to the bed, to rest with her head pillowed on his shoulder, he fancied he could hear every individual cricket outside, he could detect the beating wings of each bird, he could almost feel the beating hearts of all the people in the houses around him. He was filled with a sense of awe and an overwhelming feeling of compassion for all the creatures he could detect. And with that, he gave thanks to the God and Goddess for this gift of love, pleasure, ecstasy and connection.

Cyber-Qadishtu

While it's great to work with people in person, one-on-one, sometimes you can't do that, for various reasons.

I have a friend on the west coast who had lapband surgery about two years ago, and announced that she just passed the 100-lbs.-lost mark. She has long struggled with her weight, and the self-esteem of being a big person, and this is huge for her. A friend posted photos of an event, and there were a couple of pictures of my friend in there. I sent her the following email in response:

BTW, I was blown away when I saw the pictures of YOU! You look amazing! Your smile has always been so big, beautiful and captivating, but now it overwhelms...in a good way!

I hope you are feeling as good on the inside as you look on the outside, and that your sense of worthiness and self-love has increased as the pounds have dropped! Because, man oh man! You are just gorgeous!

She wrote me back, and told me I had made her cry.

I am hoping to do some hands-on work with her when I see her in a few weeks. She is a straight girl, so she doesn't need sex from me, but having the opportunity to nestle in the arms of the Divine Feminine has a way of making folks really notice you.

The 25 Year Old Virgin

Temple Session - The 25 Year Old Virgin

Inara de Luna
August 2008

I've been meeting with a young man (25 years old) who has Asperger's and hasn't yet had sex for the first time. We have spent the first two sessions discussing his life and his experiences with girls/women, while I observed him. This time, we spent a little time catching up, and then delved into some actual "work". I asked him if he was aware of the facial tic he exhibited while talking. He wasn't, and we discussed how people respond to all sorts of weird little things, like facial tics, when they're assessing if they want to get to know someone better. I also asked him if he was aware of other facial expressions he makes while talking. Again, he wasn't. I asked him to look at me with interest - what his face did looked bored - the exact opposite of the effect he was striving for.

So, we sat down together in front of a mirror. I talked to him about how certain features of his face can be used in various ways to change his overall expression. I encouraged him to move his eyebrows, lift the corners of his lips, open his eyes wider, tilt his head different directions, etc, until he started to be able to truly and accurately feel what his face was actually doing and what that was conveying.

Then we tried a role-play exercise, where I pretended to be a woman at a bar, during the set-break of a gig where his band was playing. He walks up to the bar and starts to engage the woman in conversation. I helped him learn that talking all about himself was not the way to endear himself to new people. We explored the possibilities of asking open-ended questions, expressing interest in her and her life, practicing more open and interested facial expressions, and how not to take it too personally if he's rebuffed or a "boyfriend" walks up. Each interaction is a chance to practice and learn more about interpersonal skills.

At this point, we had about 20 minutes left in our session, and he asked if he could hold me. So far, the only touching that occurred between us was hugs at the beginning and ending of our sessions. I wanted to ease into this, as I sensed that this young man's desperation for touch needed to be treated carefully. I also needed to maintain boundaries and some control, so as to protect both him and myself. So, we sat on the floor facing each other, cross-legged so our knees were touching, and I taught him diaphragmatic (or deep belly) breathing. He had trouble with this, so then I had him lay on his back, and as I rested my hand on his abdomen, coached him through deepening his breath and relaxing into it. Once he seemed to have it down somewhat, I had him sit back up and face me cross-legged again. Then I taught him about eye-gazing, and I described how our breath exchange was like sex, and how our hands lightly resting on each others' thighs involved energy exchange, and even molecular exchange, and how these are both sexual too - in and out of one another, in a fluid exchange. As I talked softly and gazed into his eyes, his breathing more naturally deepened.

I then drew him into a yab-yum embrace, with my legs over his and his legs underneath me, our genitals in proximity. I brought his head down to the crook between my neck and shoulder and started caressing his back. His shudders and moans told me that he was enjoying this light, sensual touch. His arms tightened around me, and he burrowed his face in my neck, murmuring how good it felt. I whispered, "You poor thing, you're so starved. You don't get much touch of any kind, do you?" He shook his head and hugged me tighter. This went on for several moments. We then shifted to a lying-down position, with his head resting on my abdomen and our legs intertwined, still clothed. He asked if he could touch my breasts, and I lifted my shirt enough for him to caress and nuzzle them. After a moment, he asked if he could he could *see* me, if he could look, and he indicated my vulva. I said yes, and as I sat up, he laid himself facedown on the floor, with his face about a foot away from my crotch. I lifted my skirt and let him look. The expression on his face was one of awe. I reached down and separated the lips, moving the hair, and let him look more deeply into me. He looked almost as if he was about to cry, then whispered, "thank you!" He told me later that was the first time he'd ever gazed upon a yoni. He was awestruck, and incredibly grateful. Shortly after that, we rearranged ourselves, hugged again and the session was over. He told me that although he desperately wanted to rip off all our clothes and plunge into me, he was glad that I had paced things, so that he's getting to experience this a little bit at a time.

We'll meet again in a couple of weeks...we'll see where the Goddess leads us then.

Lovingly,
Inara

www.TempleRedLotus.com

A supplicant came to the door...

A Supplicant Came to the Door...

Inara de Luna
January 2006

Last night, a supplicant came to my door (prearranged) for a session with the Temple Priestess. He was feeling very sad because of problems in his marriage and was also in a lot of physical pain from a chronic issue. I greeted him at the door dressed in an attractive, though not overly revealing, lingerie gown of deep dark red. My hair was unbound and long down my back. When he came in, I smiled and hugged him and let him know how very glad I was that he was there. I took from his arms the socks and robe I'd instructed him to bring, his coat and his cell phone. I told him to make himself comfortable on the sofa, while I went and retrieved the tub of warm water I had prepared. I had him soak his feet, while I draped a warmed and herbally-scented neck pillow across his neck and shoulders. He relaxed to the sound of meditation music playing quietly in the background, blending with the sound of the fountain flowing behind his head, and the scent of sandalwood incense.

While he was relaxing, I was preparing our appetizers. I gently brought his attention to the cheeses, crackers, hummus and tomatoes I had set out beside him. While he began to nibble, I knelt on the floor and removed one foot from the soaking tub, laid it across my lap and gently dried it off. He began to talk and tell me of his day, which led naturally into the troubles he's having with his wife. I was massaging a refreshing minty lotion into his feet while he talked, and I gave him the gift of my full attention. This continued while I switched to the other foot. This time was for him to slough off all the mundanities of his life, to gently and gradually come to a place within himself where he could fully accept all the nurturing he would receive from me. As we rose from the sofa to go to the table, where I had our dinner waiting, we agreed that for the rest of the night, we would not focus on the outside world.

While we ate lasagna and bread, we continued to talk and share stories from our childhoods, laughing as we remembered some of the silly things we said and did. After eating, I asked him to make sure he had his offering and to wait a few minutes in silence, while I went into the inner sanctum of the Temple, to make sure all was prepared for the next phase of the evening. The candles on the altar were lit, the incense was wafting through the room, all the lights were turned off, and the curtain over the entryway was drawn closed. I returned to him, asked if he was ready, and led him to the entrance. I disappeared behind the veil, and waited for him to request entry. When he did, I asked if he was prepared to worship the Goddess and be true to his deepest nature. He answered in the affirmative and I welcomed him into the inner sanctum.

He knelt at my feet, laying his forehead against my belly, and his hands wrapped gently around my legs. He thanked me, and then I had him rise and follow me to the altar. I seated him in front of it, and directed him to make his offering to Aphrodite and to sit with her for a few minutes. If he was moved to share or ask anything of Her, I assured him that it was okay to do so, either out loud or silently. He made his offering and his prayer and meditated for several minutes. Finally, I came up behind him, naked now and fully invoked with the power of the Goddess. I laid my hands on the top of his head and breathed heat into his crown chakra, then my hands raked down either side of his head, pulling the last bits of worry and baggage off of him. I whispered to him about how I was removing his schedules, his to-do lists, his worries, his duties. I was flinging all of this stuff off my hands as I dragged it off of him. I told him how, when he left here, he could choose to pick any of it back up that he wished, but for this evening, it was all going to sit in the corner quietly, not bothering him. This evening and experience were all about him, completely for him, and not about his baggage and accoutrements.

I then grabbed a brush and started brushing out his long, luxurious brown hair. I brushed and brushed, until his hair shown, and a small smile of bliss was on his face. I slipped his robe off his shoulders and bid him rise and follow me to the bed. We laid upon the furry bedspread, his head resting on my shoulder, while my arms reached around and enveloped him in a warm, safe, nurturing embrace. Our naked bodies melded together and we breathed as one for a time. Eventually, I emerged from our embrace and turned him onto his stomach. I took some massage oil and rubbed it lovingly all over my own body, before lowering myself to rub the front of my body all over the back of his. He could feel my soft breasts, with their hard nipples, the soft tickliness of my hair, the strength and soft skin of my thighs. I leaned back then and thoroughly massaged the stress and knots out of his neck, his back, his hips and legs.

When I was finished, I laid my body atop the entire length of his, and again we breathed together for a few moments, sharing this space with no schedules, no obligations and no expectations. He was here to love and be loved, and that was it. So there was nothing hurried or impatient within either of us. Finally, I rolled him over and he sat up and gently pushed me back into the pillows, face up. He knelt between my legs and pushed them apart, and began to worship me languously and thoroughly. It was blissful! After a couple of peaks, which I offered up to the Goddess, I thanked him and we switched positions. I then worshipped him, in similar fashion, showing him that he was as filled with the divine as I was. After awhile, he experienced a huge peak and released his offering with a shout. I crawled up his body and this time allowed him to cradle me, while we each relaxed and caught our breath.