I am a Qadishtu

Each and everyone of us wear different hats throughout the day. Sometimes I wear the Soccer Mom hat, sometimes I wear the Organizer hat, several times during the day I wear the Mom of Teenagers hat, etc.
Every role that I take on can be both aggravating and wonderful and sometimes both at the same time!

One of the hats (hereafter referred to as a veil) that I really am growing to love is that of a Sacred Sensuality Facilitator also known by some as Qadishti. Even this hat can be both aggravating and wonderful at different times. But this is one hat that encourages me that Life can be rewarding and gives me hope that I can reach out and help people who ask for help.

I am a Qadishtu.

Sometimes I doubt myself in this. Sometimes I doubt more than other times.
But then I get a reminder from someone else.

There was a night, not too long ago, when I was involved in a ritual where I was learning, but not quite connecting as I felt that I should. Something didn’t feel just right. I was tempted to step aside and meditate.

The Goddess Aphrodite has been flitting around me all night. She doesn’t ever stay for long, she just stops by occasionally. It is actually rather annoying, but one thing I have learned is to not argue with a God, at least not to their face. So I try to reason with Goddess Aphrodite. Not so good either.

As the ritual circle passes around again, I find myself with one of my loves, and we begin the left-eye connection with our right hands over our partner’s heart. Ok, now this I can connect with!!

I am now thinking how glad I am that I did stay and didn’t leave to meditate, when, suddenly my body turns and walks away. I am leaving my partner without a word as I begin walking towards another dancer.

As I approach, I open my arms and enfold this young lady in my arms. She doesn’t hesitate. She lays her head on my shoulder and cries silently. I think that it almost would be better if she would wail and let out her anguish.

At this point, the Goddess Aphrodite is more me than I am me. Aphrodite speaks through me and tells me that I am there to comfort this young lady who is trying to hide her pain in regards to her significant other who is mocking her interest in this search for spiritual enlightenment.

I pull her back from my shoulder and Aphrodite raises my hand to brush back this young ladies hair and gently stroke her face. I find my hand wiping away her new tears and then I begin to speak Aphrodite’s words, “You are a beautiful and strong person. You are a Goddess. You must find and love the Goddess within you before you can expect another to love your Goddess”.

Throughout this time, I am gently caressing this young ladies face and she even turns her head into the cup of my palm seeking re-assurance.

Now I realize that my partner, one of my loves, is with us in the embrace. He is here listening and offering his support. He understands, even better than I do, that it is Aphrodite speaking and holding this young lady in pain. The three of us are swaying to music in harmony. I am starting to learn that dance is as much about touch as it is about rhythm.

The dancers continue to circle about us, but we three are in our own little bubble. Aphrodite continues to speak through me to encourage this young lady to love herself and that she is a Goddess herself. (I don’t even remember all the words that she spoke, but my dance partner/lover ensures me that it was quite lovely to hear.)



We do rejoin the other revelers and the dance again. I am now back completely in myself and Aphrodite is gone. I say a prayer of thanks that she chose my body to help heal. I am not at all familiar with having a Goddess or God or anyone in me, and this was the first time that I really could open myself up enough to let any of them inside me and yet feel every sensation. It was awesome and yet aggravating and wonderful as well. I found it was much like any of the other hats that I sometimes wear.

I am a Qadishtu.

Qadishtu Outer Court

Qadishtu Outer Court from Saturday night
Over the weekend, I was fortunate enough to be attending a lovely Tantra event. (I feel that I can never seem to learn enough and I find that there are so many 'coincidental similarities' between so many of the Sacred Paths, that the overlap lessons are always beneficial)While there I was able to assist with some limited Qadishtu work in what many of the Qadishtu movement refer to as the Outer Court.

Prior to the Ritual, there is always a briefing class to cover the guidelines for anyone who is new to the art. The layout of the ritual area is shown, in this case, we had a twin size air mattress in the Center that the Seeker would be able to lay upon and then some blankets and pillows for the High Priest and High Priestess, and all the givers, some of whom are Qadishtu trained.

Limitations are explained as any activity that you, as a seeker, do not feel comfortable with having done while you are in the Center. Some limitations might include only being touched where there is no clothing, i.e., only on bare skin, or only a firm touch and not a lighter touch that might tickle, or a light touch and not a firm touch that will hurt sore muscles, or not being kissed on the mouth by anyone other than a fluid-bonded partner, and someone might explain that they have recently had gall bladder surgery and so to not touch their stomach area at all. These are just some of the many limitations that people can mention.

Also, a safe word can be used at any point and ALL activity is stopped. This safe word is for the seeker, or the person in the middle, when perhaps the emotions get to intense or the touch is more than they can deal with at this time. The safe word is in place for each person’s protection. Sometimes the touch can be joyful and arousing. Sometimes, if not frequently, the touch of others can bring issues to the forefront. Perhaps, a loving touch is a reminder that a seeker does not get enough loving touch in their personal lives. Perhaps, a loving touch is a reminder of a past love whose chapter is not resolved. Perhaps, the loving touch is a remembrance of a Mother’s touch who recently passed. There is no shame in calling out the safe word. It is just a word of protection. Any issues brought up should be further examined. If appropriate, the examination can take place at the end of the ceremony with any of the Priests or Priestess with whom a seeker has a connection. If not at the end of the ceremony, then a seeker needs to do some self-evaluation in the hopes of working on this issue to gain enlightenment.

Preferences are explained as any activity that you, when a seeker, would like to have done to you that you enjoy. Some of the preferences sited, were that they liked their hair played with, or their feet handled in a loving manner, or kisses on their neck, or nipple play is ok but just not too rough, or that they were a dessert plate – defined as pretty much anything and everything is wonderful. This is just a short list of preferences.

The group settles around the mattress and the High Priestess begins with a prayer to close and bless the area and then an invocation of her Deity whom she prefers to work with. Then each of us was invited to pray or invoke any of our own Deities. Some people just prayed for guidance, some asked for the Goddess Inanna or Gaia or Pan among others to join us in this Sacred Space.

A moment of silence is shared.

Then the High Priestess asks for a volunteer for the center. In this case, the seeker was just biding her time until the offer was given. She gave her name and her limitations and her preferences as only someone experienced can list that quickly. She lay back on the cushions and each of us (healers) placed a hand on her body in a gentle and loving manner so as to acclimate her body for continued touch.

Many of the healers followed a pattern of touch where their hands flowed over the seeker’s body in a rhythmic manner. Some healers just used a more random stroke all over the permitted area. One healer worked with the energy given off from the head. Personally, I tend to close my eyes and let my hands see the colors inside and that guides me to an area that needs a positive energy gift. But the work for this particular seeker progressed for about 15 minutes.

A side note here: not all healers need touch all seekers. There are times when healers need to center or ground themselves. Sometimes a healer will not feel comfortable with a particular seeker, and this is an ok feeling and must be respected.

The next seeker is up and lists off several limitations and a request for a much lighter touch. He only wishes to be touched by women and prefers not to have a man touch him. This is a perfectly fine request. It is much better to be honest than it is to feel uncomfortable. The time in the center of the circle is meant to be loving and comforting allowing the mind to float in a relaxed state. If this man had not mentioned that he didn’t want another’s man touch, than he would have not allowed himself to fully relax and to continue to fret over who was touching him.
This particular man called out his safe word after only about 7 – 8 minutes. He was relaxed but then a sudden noise from outside the circle interrupted his peace and he wanted to re-group before continuing.

Much of this night’s Outer Court was very fluid and laughter filled. This is rather unusual as generally this time is more somber but tonight there was a certain playfulness in the air. Many of the seekers found a joyful and positive space in which to reflect. Many of the healers, although serious in their work, also were able to thrive off the joy in the seeker’s response. More than once, there was laughter heard around the circle at the end of the seeker’s time in the center. One man couldn’t even speak because he couldn’t stop smiling. He would start and the words were gibberish and then he would giggle which of course made all of us giggle.

This levity is unusual, but it was the right mood at the right time for this particular Outer Court. One person who had invoked Pan, even commented that maybe Pan was present and being his usual mischievous self. Whatever the reason, all involved had their moods lightened.

The group went through 9 seekers on this particular evening. Each seeker built on the sacred energy that the previous seeker left. There were plenty of healers so that no one healer over-worked themselves. The air was alive with divine love and energy.

At the conclusion, our High Priestess, asked us all to gather together in a prayer of conclusion and to re-open the circle. As is customary, the energy gathered with the group is sent out into the world to help wherever such energy is best utilized.

Tonight, the High Priestess cast our Sacred Energy into the bonfire and WHOOOSHHH, the fire grew brighter and taller as it accepted our energy. If I had not seen the fire grow so intensely, I would not have believed it possible, but the fire did swell. It was a site that caused many of the revelers who were outside the Outer Court to stop and take notice. Some of them just nodded sagely and some others just looked at us like we had two heads. Well, in a way, some of us did have two heads: we had our human form, and then we also wore the head of whatever God-form whom we invoked.

There is a power when we allow a God to work thru our human hands and allow the energy from the God to help with Sacred Touch. It was present for all to see that night.

After the fire went WHOOOOSHHH (just like that word!), the drummers began their rhythmic, intoxicating drumming. Most of our group stayed up at the fire for several more hours just soaking up the sexual energy that had been raised. Even I, with my leg in a brace and generally in too much pain to generally move much by evening, danced with many of the other revelers. And one thing that I found interesting was, that even though I danced and talked and walked all over, I had very little pain. My gait was even improved. Now, that was some impressive energy!!

Most of the people at the fire, and not just those in our group, but many of the people who came up after we finished our ritual, commented that there ‘was something different in the air’ that night. There was a difference: it was called Love and Acceptance and a Release of Tensions caused by our normal, societal stigmas that inhibit us from being Free.

Namaste
Lyndsay