Scarlet Sanctuary and the abdl

I have many stories from the evening at Winter Wickedness and our time in the Scarlet Sanctuary, but the one that stands out for me is my session with the 'adult baby diaper lover'. I knew this was going to happen, as they had emailed me before hand to see if I'd be able to do it.

When I first received the email, my first reaction was that I wouldn't be able to do it. With my triggers, it was asking for trouble. Dan said he'd take care of writing them back to gently let them know that I wouldn't be able to do such a session. But, we both sat there and thought about it and I told him that it felt like I was supposed to do this. He said he had the same feeling. So, I looked within myself and decided to give it a try. I've been through a lot of work and healing over the last years and this would be a way that I could help someone else.

We talked more with the couple over the following weeks and I told them what my triggers were. But, that since he was a male, I was going to give it a try. They were very appreciative.

Saturday night rolls around and it's time for the session of sacred touch. I went to the altar and called on my Priestess side and then went out to greet them.

We put 2 tables together so that we could work on both members of the couple at the same time. Feeling the energy of the abdl, I could see that he needed to have her close by. He was in child mode. He called me 'Miss Dawn', like an obedient child and I proceeded to undress him. He helped out in the manner that a child would. We set his teddy bear off to the side in a safe place and I proceeded to walk him to the table. I had someone else helping me at the time with the girl, undressing her and such, so that I wouldn't have to leave the guy alone while dealing with the gal. He was in such a space that it wouldn't have been good for me to leave him alone during any point of this. He was very vulnerable and I considered him very brave to be doing this at all. That is what kept going through my head...how brave he was. Though it was a kinky event that we were at, abdl's still get looked at funny. But, there really isnt' any other place for them to go and let that side of themselves out.

Well, I got him on the table after he whispered to me asking if I was going to be ok with him wearing a diaper. Oddly enough, I was perfectly fine with it. I thought it would be a shame for him to have to take it off just to make me feel better. My heart was telling me that he needed to be embraced completely while in this mode. He needed to be accepted and loved. It was no different than the trans persons that had come in through the night. It was someone that needed loving touch, while in their alternate persona. And that's what I gave him. I opened my heart and gave him love. His energy was so warm and gentle. Hers was caring and loving for him.

After about 20 - 25 minutes, me and my helper were both finished. We helped the couple up and helped them get re-dressed. Both of them had huge smiles on their faces.

When done with the session, I went to the statue and gave it all the icky stuff that I had pulled from his belly. More energy to be used later.

I thanked the Goddess for allowing me to experience such a moment.

They told me later that it had been more than what they had imagined. All through the night if they saw me taking a break out in the hall, they would stop me and say how much they had appreciated the experience.

No triggers for me. I was actually able to channel pretty well and got some messages from the Goddess. I'm still processing those.

It was a beautiful, loving experience.

--- dawn

getting it

Recently, we were at an event in Washington, DC, and someone requested we do a "scene". Now, a scene can range from anywhere to highly sexual to BDSM exploration to other kinds of intimate interaction.

This person, whom we'll call A, was a little vague on what she wanted. She had seen us present two classes, one on Sacred Sexuality, another an introduction to BDSM, so we were not sure which way she wanted to approach this. As we started to negotiate (very important, creating a clear understanding of what we were all looking for and what limits we wanted in place), it simply wasn't becoming clear.

Sometimes the heart knows it has a need, but we can have difficulty expressing it, either from a lack of being taught it was ok to ask, from being uncertain/fearing rejection, or simply not having the language.

What she needed was intimacy. Being connected. Being touched. Being valued. Being accepted as a member of the human family, cherished by each other.

We ended up settling on a scene that was based on simple touch. Stroking, carressing, connecting touch. It was intimate, mildly erotic, and a wonderful opprotunity for her to practice receiving and for us to practice giving.

Qadishti Eyes

“Every closed eye is not sleeping, and every open eye is not seeing.” Bill Cosby

I usually try to watch where I am walking (yes, Grace is a nickname) but as I stand at an elevator waiting for the crowds to part, I begin to notice that I was the only person in site wearing a skirt, camisole and jacket in earth tones. To my left were suits in gray, black and navy. To my right were suits in navy, black and gray. I steal a quick glance over my shoulder and see a whole sea of blacks, navies and grays. I turn completely around and begin squinting my eyes, as if I am looking for someone, and as I squint, the sea of black, navy and gray blur into a vastness of muted dark with only miniscule specks of a lighter flesh color for faces.

Ughh! I need to see sunlight and the cerulean blue sky. Quickly.

The elevator dings its arrival and I turn and wait until the passengers exit before entering the cube myself. A smooth ride to the lobby and I am able to escape out the side door. Soon I am squinting for another reason even as I smile into the sunshine.

I share my smile with the other people around me. Another cluster of business suits all still pushing buttons on their blackberries, or gazing off into the parking lot with blank stares. A fascinating study of humans and how they can so disassociate with the living around them. I admit that it is easier to exclude yourself from intimacy especially when in public. But this is opposite to all the teachings that I learn in walking the Path of the Qadishti. As a Qadishti, I seek to make a connection with the stranger next to me just as much as I make a connection with any seeker.

My eyes drift shut as I think about how important my eyes are to my work. My eyes are the first link to seeing inside someone’s soul. My eyes are the windows to my heart, just as your eyes are the windows to your heart.

Previously on this very Blog, some of my colleagues have talked about the importance of eyes. We try to elucidate the significance of opening our eyes to truly see who is in front of us every waking moment. It is a labor of our love for this path in helping others open themselves as humans, as individuals, and as sexual beings. Our job is to help our seekers connect all the parts. This connection is our Qadishti labor of love.

50 people

Over this past weekend, a group of us ran a Scarlet Sanctuary at an event in Ohio. During the 6 hour period we ran, we administered sacred touch to 50 people.

To say we were tired after it was over is an understatement.

It was really something to see so many people come through, with such interest, and need.

One person wept while another had an energetic orgasm. And we, as facilitators, did not 'cause' either of this reactions, but instead simply...assisted people to become vulnerable to sexuality, to intimacy, to whatever it is they needed to be.

I recall having one woman I was working on go from nervous, to relaxed, to meditative, and then to energized and erotically awake. It was an amazing transformation for her, and for me, to be part of that journey.

Educating others about the Qadishti Path

Today is my scheduled turn to post. Instead of another true-life tale, I'd like to make a statement of purpose. We now have 13 blog contributors this Winter and a goal of averaging two sharings per week. I strongly believe The Qadishtu Experience is an important tool to educate others about What we do and Why we do this exciting and important work.

Some of us are at Winter Wickedness in Ohio as I write these words, doing Sacred Touch with Seekers in a carefully designed Scarlet Sanctuary environment. Other Qadishti are emotionally and sexually supporting a wide variety of Clients in diverse ways elsewhere. A select few are being compensated and most are exchanging energy for personal reasons and the appreciation of those we serve.

Regardless of Why we are drawn to this Path, the "What" is fascinating. We have many amazing stories to tell. Our challenges, triumphs, failures and specific How-To information is essential to understanding the modern Qadishtu movement. While I think the readership would benefit from a well done historically-oriented post, this blog is mostly concerned with 21st century practices.

Previously, I had sponsored a series of posts about a female Client's experience from her point-of-view. It was excellent, but Miss ~X~ requested that I delete her writing last week because the information could violate her privacy. Nothing is more important than Client confidentiality. However, this material was so powerful that I will try to do this again in the future.

Another aspiration of mine is to have a new Terra Incognita Qadishtu Priestess talk about her apprenticeship and training program here. I've had several sincere enquiries about this process recently and our lovely Honey Priestess's first-hand accounts should be extremely helpful to others.

Please feel free to comment and promote The Qadishtu Experience to other people in the Sacred Sexuality community. We need your active participation to let folks know what we are doing to expand this loving dialectic to those who need our services.

David